The Most Difficult Type of Divorce – Divorcing with Children
What type of divorce could be worse than a divorce with children involved? Some people might say that remaining in a bad marriage relationship for the sake of the children is worse than a divorce with children involved. However, the damaging consequences of the latter situation usually outweigh that of the former by a fair margin.
When faced with the lesser of the two evils, what would be considered the best approach?
One word captures it best…Agreement. Both parties must be in agreement as to the children. Specifically, custody of the children, visitation rights of each spouse, child support, medical and dental insurance, life insurance, education expenses, and holiday time-sharing. Children will certainly not enjoy the process of divorce, but when both parties are in agreement as to specifics involving their children, it becomes a matter of time and routine before a functional structure is established.
Children wil be emotionally torn between parents. It is difficult at best, for children to realize that they can only live with one of their parents for any length of time. In many states, unless proven otherwise or agreed upon, custody of the children will lean toward the mother. Length of custody, if not permanent, should be agreed upon with the specific days, weeks, and times involved set forth between the parents. It is worth noting that these custodial issues are resolved by a court order issued from the divorce proceedings. Both parties are to be bound by them. Whatever is agreed upon becomes part of that order.
The issue of child support is a key matter to be determined by the court, if necessary. It is incumbent upon both spouses to determine what the non-custodial parent will be contributing in the form of financial support for the children on a consistent, monthly basis. This financial support is separate from the matter of medical and dental or life insurance and education. It can be legally enforced against the obligated party who fails to comply with the order.
Insurance coverage concerning medical and dental, and life insurance for children is another issue that must be agreed upon. If both parents work and have group insurance offered by their employers, then one parent will need to maintain that coverage at all times. The likelihood of that parent losing his or her job will also need to be considered and addressed between the parties.
Divorcing with children is never a pleasant situation. Commitment in a successul marriage relationship requires both understanding and agreement, before anyone says “I Do.”