Thinking about divorce and need some advice.

Aug 8, 2012 by

Question: 

HEY MY NAME IS PAULA.. MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 12 YEARS NOW. AND WE DO NOT SEE EYE TO EYE.. JUST SEEM TO NOT GET ALONE WITH ONE ANOTHER. BEEMN GOING THROUGH THIS FOR A WHILE NOW. MAYBE SINCE I LOST MY JOB LAST YEAR. I FOUND WORK THIS YEAR IN MARCH. I LOVE MY JOB BUT MY HUSBAND THINKS I NEED TO WORK IN AN OFFICE.??? I AM WORKING AT A DAYCARE RIGHT NOW, I LOVE MY JOB.. BUT IT DOES NOT PAY ME ENOUGH… WE DO NOT AGREE ON THIS EITHER. TO ME A JOB IS A JOB.. BE GLAD THAT I HAVE ONE.. WELL WE HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL GIRLS.. AGES 7 AND 10 YEARS OLD. AND I HAVE COME TO A CONCLUSION THAT I WANT OUT AND I AM NOT HAPPY ANY MORE.. I HAVE FALLEN OUT OF LOVE WITH MY HUSBAND. AND WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT THIS. BUT I JUST WANT OUT NOW.. I AM SO AFFRIAD THAT I MAY BE DOING THE WRONG THING.. OR WHAT OTHERS MAY THINK OF ME.. ME BEING THE BAD PERSON.. THE ONE WHOM WANTS OUT… BUT I ASK MYSELF WHY STAY IN A MARRIAGE IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. WE HAVE A HOME.. WHICH HE HAD BEFORE I MET HIM. WE ARE STILL PAYING MONTHLY NOTES ON THE HOUSE. WE WHERE SPLITING THE BILLS UP AT ONE TIME.. UNTIL I LOST MY JOB. NOW THAT I HAVE ONE.. I PAY FOR THE SMALLER THINGS.. HE TAKES THE HEAVY BILLS. I HAVE MY TRUCK WHICH IS PAID OFF. HE HAS A TRUCK WHICH HE STILL MAKES PAYMENTS ON TODAY. I WANT TO MOVE OUT AND INTO MY OWN APARTMENT.. BUT I KNOW I CAN NOT AFFORD IT RIGHT NOW. SOME HAVE TOLD ME IF I WAS TO LEAVE MY HUSBAND TODAY,, THAT IF I FILED FOR DIVORCE THAT HE WILL HAVE TO PAY.. PAYU FOR MY LIVING EXPENSIVES…I HAVE NEVER BEEN THROUGH ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE. IT IS JUST SCARY FOR ME. BUT I DO WANT OUT… I WANT IT TO BE OVER IT… I HAVE TALKED TO BOTH MY DAUGHTERS AND TOLD AND ASKED WHAT DO THEY THNK. OR WHAT WOULD THEY SAY IF MOM AND DAD GOT A DIVORCE.. AND THEY SEEM TO BE VERY OUT SPOKEN ABOUT IT.. WE TALK ABOUT LIFE.. SO THEY KNOW MORE THEN OTHER KIDS DO.. I TRY TO BE TRUTHFUL AND UP TO DATE WITH THEM ON DAILY THING IN LIFE. I JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW… WHAT…. I NEED SOM ADVICE.. COULD YOU PLEASE HELP.. AND SO SORRY FOR THE LONG LONG LETTER… PAULA (TX)

State: 
Texas

Answer: 

Although your situation does sound urgent, Divorce.com cannot tell you what you should do, we can only assist you with information and resources after you have decided what course of action you will take. However, it is probably good to keep in mind that rarely are people better off financially after a divorce than they were before it. You should examine your options carefully before making decisions that will affect the rest of your life. Sometimes a divorce is the best option, and in some cases it is not. – The Divorce.com Team

Wendy Jaffe and Divorce.com can only provide general information about divorce. DO NOT RELY ON MS. JAFFE’S ADVICE ALONE. Before acting on information provided by Ms. Jaffe or by Divorce.com, talk to an attorney first about your particular facts and the law of your state. By submitting your question to Divorce.com, you are not creating an attorney/client relationship with Ms. Jaffe or with any of the other attorneys listed on this site.

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