Friends getting a Divorce

Aug 8, 2012 by


My friend who I have only talked to via the phone and her husband have 2 kids. She is a heavy, heavy duty alcoholic. I have only spoken over the phone with her for the past several years, therefore none of the following has been seen by my eyes so to speak. She has been to a Treatment Center a couple times (Incomplete) blames not being able to stick to the not drinking due to her husband drinking and coming home drunk. She also has a record of being arrested and hospitalized.




It sounds like you are literally “stuck in the middle” if both the husband and wife want you to vouch for them in court with a letter of character reference. However, considering what you now know about both of them, a truthful letter might not do either of them any good. The kids are probably the people who need the most help in this situation, but they aren’t asking. Perhaps the best course of action is to remain neutral. Since both spouses asked you for the same thing, the value of each probably negates the other, and neither letter would hold much sway with a judge. Try to bow out gracefully by telling them you cannot take sides and do not have firsthand knowledge of the situation and you might be able to keep your “phoneship” going.  A simple letter of reference from an Internet pen pal is probably not a very strong piece of “discovery” in the first place, and a judge is not likely to give it much weight in the overall picture anyway.

– The Team

Wendy Jaffe and can only provide general information about divorce. DO NOT RELY ON MS. JAFFE’S ADVICE ALONE. Before acting on information provided by Ms. Jaffe or by, talk to an attorney first about your particular facts and the law of your state. By submitting your question to, you are not creating an attorney/client relationship with Ms. Jaffe or with any of the other attorneys listed on this site.


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