Is This Really the Right Time to Be Filing For a Divorce?

Aug 8, 2012 by

It appears that today many married couples choose not to seek counseling or to work on issues between themselves, but rather jump into divorce at the first sign of trouble in the relationship. Marriage is an institution that once was respected, and required some amount of maturity by both parties; it was to be taken seriously and it was forever. Furthermore, without marriage, societies would crumble; it certainly has its function. However, there are times when  a couple is unable to reconcile or negotiate at all, and divorce becomes the only viable option. When does a couple know when the right time is to divorce? That could be difficult to say, and without knowing the precise circumstances of a marriage it is impossible to supply a one-size-fits-all answer. Usually a couple has a good idea of when it might be time for a divorce: therapy has been exhausted; nothing is resolved in negotiations, and the fights typically increase—not decrease.

When a couple has decided that it is impossible to live in a healthy environment together, then they need to consider the various options for divorce, and understand the laws that apply to their specific issues and location. There are a variety of laws that constitute divorce, so it is wise to understand what some of them are. Certain states require a “cooling off period” before a divorce can be granted, while there is less red tape in other states. There are typically two types of divorce: absolute divorce, or “divorce a vinculo matrimonii” and limited divorce: “divorce a menso et thoro.” For an absolute divorce the court must rule misconduct by one spouse, thus equating a judicial divorce. Now the couple can attain their single status again. Limited divorces are usually known as separation, and it terminates the couples right to cohabitate, yet it renders the court impotent in being able to dissolve the union; therefore, their status remains married, technically speaking. Some states offer a conversion divorce, which means that after a specified amount of time separated the couple is eventually awarded the divorce status.

There are certain states that offer a no fault divorce, which means neither party is required to provide proof of misconduct, yet those seeking a divorce should thoroughly investigate whether or not their state in fact abides by that law. As far as property is concerned, a court typically used to rely on statutes that favored the breadwinner in the marriage. However, currently courts lean to dividing assets equally if possible. Lastly, as far as alimony is concerned, courts can force a spouse to pay three types, usually until the end of their life or until the other spouse remarries. At any rate, it makes sense when seeking a divorce to understand the laws of the state in which you live, and to find the proper legal guidance for carrying out the divorce because you are the person who has to live with the results for the rest of your life.


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