While all states require you to notify your spouse when filing for divorce, you don’t have to be stuck if they’ve disappeared.

Courts allow alternative ways to serve divorce papers when you’ve made a good faith effort to locate your spouse.

Here’s how the process works and what to do when your spouse can’t be found.

Step 1: Understand the Service Requirement

Before your divorce can move forward, your spouse must be officially notified. This is called service of process.

In most cases, this means:

• A process server or sheriff personally delivers the divorce papers to your spouse.

• You file a proof of service with the court, confirming they received them.

But what happens if you don’t know where your spouse is or if they’re avoiding service? In that case, alternative options may be available.

Step 2: Try to Locate Your Spouse

Courts generally require that you make diligent efforts to find your spouse before using alternative methods of service. This may include:

• Searching social media for recent activity or contact info

• Reaching out to mutual friends or family members

• Doing a Google search or using online databases

• Checking government resources like:

  • Prison or military databases

  • Local criminal or civil court filings

• Contacting hospitals or shelters (they may not release information but might pass along a message)

Hiring a private investigator is also an option, though it can be costly. Some courts may accept alternative service options that are more affordable.

Step 3: Ask for Permission to Serve by Publication

If you're unable to locate your spouse, you may be able to file a motion with the court requesting service by publication. That is, publishing a legal notice in a newspaper.

To qualify, courts generally expect you to:

• Show that you've tried all reasonable ways to find your spouse

• Submit a sworn statement outlining those efforts

• Follow detailed instructions on how and where to publish the notice

For example, a court might require you to:

• Publish the notice once a week for four consecutive weeks in a newspaper approved by the court

• Include specific language about the case and a deadline for your spouse to respond

Publication fees vary by newspaper, but often start around $100.

Once you've published the notice as instructed, you'll typically need to file proof of publication with the court to move the case forward.

Step 4: Wait for a Response or Request a Default Divorce

After service by publication, your spouse is given a specific amount of time to respond or appear in court. This timeline varies by state.

• If they respond or appear, your case becomes contested, and the court process continues from there.

• If they do not respond, you may be able to request a default divorce.

In a default divorce, the court may move forward without input from your spouse. You can ask the court to consider the requests you made in your initial filing (such as custody, support, or division of property).

The judge will review those requests and decide whether they are fair and lawful under your state’s guidelines.

Alternative: Service by Posting

In some states, the court may allow service by posting — placing the divorce notice in a designated area of the courthouse — rather than publication in a newspaper.

To request this, courts typically require:

• Proof of your efforts to locate your spouse

• A motion asking for service by posting

• Approval from a judge

If granted, you’ll post the notice as directed (usually for about 30 days). Once that period ends, you may be able to move forward by filing a statement confirming the notice was posted.

The Bottomline

Divorcing a missing spouse may feel overwhelming, but you do have options.

Courts recognize that not every spouse can be found, and most offer a clear path forward through service by publication or posting.

These alternatives allow your case to proceed even when your spouse can’t (or won’t) participate, helping you take the next step toward resolution.

Need help preparing divorce paperwork even when your spouse is out of the picture? Divorce.com makes it easier to move forward, even in complicated situations.