Do You Really Want a Divorce?

What Has Made You Consider Divorce?

• A - Have you been unhappy for a long time?
  • Have you tried marriage counseling?
  • Have you and your spouse tried to make changes to address the problems without success?
  • Is there anything you or your spouse can do that would make you want to stay?
• B - Is there a recent incident, development, or situation that has made you begin thinking about divorce?
  • Have you taken the time to see if things will change or settle down?
  • Have you tried marriage counseling?
  • What would need to happen for you to be willing to stay?

Evaluating if Divorce Is the Right Path for You

• Do you still love your spouse and have hope that things can improve?
• Was your marriage ever healthy and happy?
• Is divorce a threat you’re using or do you really want one?
• Are you reacting out of hurt?

If you answered yes to any of the above, divorce might not be right for you.

• Have you completely thought through your options and feel confident that the marriage is over?
• Are you able to cope with the conflict that may lie ahead?
• Are you ready to make a life-changing decision?

If you answered yes to the above, divorce might be the right choice for you.

Questions to Ask Yourself About the Reality of Divorce

• Can you afford to live separately?
• What will your financial reality be like after a divorce, and can you live with it?
• What is your plan for where and how you would live?
• Do you have the time and emotional bandwidth to go through this process now?
• Would you need spousal and/or child support?
• Are you prepared to sell your home if that is necessary?
• How would a divorce affect your children?
• Are you prepared to share your children’s time with your spouse?

If you don’t know the answers to these questions, you might not be ready to move forward right now.

You Know You’re Ready to Get a Divorce When:

• There is nothing your spouse can do to change how you feel.
• You have given the relationship time, tried over and over again, and continue to come to the conclusion that it can’t be saved.
• You realize divorce takes time and emotional strength, and you know you can get through it.
• You feel confident and excited about living on your own.
• You have a financial plan for moving forward.
• You are ready to move on to a new chapter in your life.
• If you have children, you know you can help them through this.

Possible Paths Forward

• Stay in the marriage as it is: You don’t have to take immediate action. "Wait and see" is an acceptable answer.
• Try counseling: The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy reports marriage counseling has a 70% success rate.
• Make changes together: You can work on your marriage together.
• Have a trial or legal separation: Living separately can help you determine what you truly want. Some states require that you live apart to be able to file for a no-fault divorce.
• Get a divorce: If a divorce is the right answer for you, you can find out more here.