How to Know It's Time for Divorce: Key Insights from Our Recent Webinar

Key Signs Your Marriage May Be in Trouble

• Persistent Issues: Patterns of poor communication, infidelity, or high conflict. Many couples find themselves living "separate lives" or acting more like roommates than partners.
• The Four Horsemen: Based on John Gottman’s research, persistent patterns of criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling can predict divorce.
• Misaligned Values: Drifting apart on key values or life goals—without a willingness from both partners to work through these differences—can be a significant challenge.

Understanding the Emotional Landscape

• Grief Process: Divorce often involves grieving not only the loss of the relationship but also shared dreams, routines, and future plans.
• Fear of the Unknown: This can keep people stuck in limbo, which Dr. Trotter advises against. Instead, seeking support and education can help you move forward with clarity.
• Mindset Shifts: Focusing on what you can control—your thoughts and choices—empowers you to make sound decisions for yourself and your family.

The Role of Children

• Happy Parents, Healthy Kids: Research shows that children fare better with happy parents, even if they are no longer together.
• Modeling Relationships: Consider what your relationship is teaching your children about love, communication, and conflict resolution.
• Avoiding Conflict: Shield children from high-conflict dynamics and avoid putting them in the middle. Focus on co-parenting in a way that prioritizes their well-being.

Steps to Take Before and During Divorce

• Get Educated: Knowledge is power. Learn about the legal, financial, and emotional aspects of divorce.
• Build Your Support Team: Surround yourself with professionals—such as therapists, mediators, financial advisors, and legal experts—and supportive friends or family.
• Set Goals: Think about where you want to be post-divorce, not just in the short term but years down the road.

Finding Peace Through the Process

One final piece of advice was to reflect on the "price of peace." Not every disagreement is worth a battle. Letting go of minor issues can sometimes lead to greater emotional relief and focus on what truly matters.