It’s not common, but it’s not impossible. According to Psychology Today, 10–15% of couples reconcile after they separate, and about 6% marry each other again after divorce.

The odds aren’t high, but they’re real. If you want to be in that small percentage, how you navigate the months after a breakup matters as much as the feelings that remain.

The first step is full acceptance of the divorce. Something wasn’t working. The separation happened for a reason.

You can’t rewrite history, but you can use it as a foundation for a healthier future, whether that’s with your former spouse or in a completely new chapter.

Step 1: Create Space With No Contact

In the early weeks and months, emotions run high. Calling, texting, or showing up uninvited often sets progress back.

Instead, commit to a no-contact period — at least a month — to clear your head and reset the dynamic.

If you share children or a business, keep communication practical and limited to those responsibilities. This space is about creating room for perspective and self-control.

Step 2: Address the Real Issues

A reunion will only work if the reasons for the split are resolved. Get specific:

• Trust issues? Rebuild credibility with consistent action, not just words.

• Communication breakdown? Learn how to listen, respond, and navigate conflict.

• Drifting apart? Re-engage with curiosity and shared experiences when they feel natural.

Step 3: Invest in Your Own Growth

Post-divorce is an opportunity to reset your life, whatever that may mean for you. 

The goal isn’t to “win them back.” It’s to become someone you’re proud of. Ironically, focusing on yourself often makes you more attractive to an ex than chasing them ever could.

Step 4: Reconnect Slowly and Intentionally

Once you’re in a better place, start with light, positive contact. Skip declarations like “I miss you” or “I want you back.” Instead, share something that sparks connection without pressure.

For example, you could say: “I finally tried that restaurant we always talked about. You were right, it’s great.”

If they respond well, you can suggest a casual meetup. Keep it relaxed, and let the conversation flow naturally.

Step 5: Keep Expectations Realistic

Rebuilding after divorce is about creating something new, because both people have changed and for good reason.

Mutual respect, emotional maturity, and a shared commitment to doing things differently are non-negotiable.

And if reconciliation doesn’t happen? You’ll still walk away with stronger boundaries, healthier habits, and a clearer vision for your future.

The Bottom Line

Divorce doesn’t erase the possibility of a future together, but the path is narrow, and only a small percentage make it back.

If you’re ready to move forward, Divorce.com can guide you through every step with clarity, confidence, and care.