4 Min Read

Being in Limbo Can Damage Your Mental Health

By Divorce.com staff
Updated Aug 04, 2022

We've all had difficulty deciding at times, especially about the big things. And divorce, well, it’s kind of a big thing, so indecision comes with the territory. While you decide what to do about your marriage, it can feel like being in limbo—uncomfortable, powerless, stuck.

Unfortunately, "in limbo" is not a healthy state of being and can have significant adverse effects. Very Well Mind identifies a few areas where indecision can have negative impacts on your life:

  • Health: Disruptions to your sleep schedule, exercise routines, and nutrition intake take their toll on your overall well-being.
  • Career: If you’re distracted from your job duties, inattention can impact your performance, putting your job on the line.
  • Other Significant Relationships: The people in your life—family, friends, even your children—may bear the brunt of your emotional turmoil, which can manifest as anger, impatience, frustration, or depression.

So, what causes indecision? Let's take a closer look.

Indecision=Procrastination

You delay the decision when you do not decide how to move forward. In other words, you’re procrastinating about making that decision.

With something like divorce, that’s totally understandable. The implications are enormous—for you, your spouse, your family including any children, your friends, and even your pets.

Psychology Today explains what’s happening psychologically when a person is in limbo. Usually, the person facing the decision is overwhelmed and doesn't want to be responsible for making the wrong move. Critical or tough decisions are significant enough, and have stressful enough consequences, that making them involves serious deliberation.

In some cases, indecision is a protective strategy. People think that by not deciding, they’re preventing the negative consequences or impacts, so not deciding protects them from that. As a result, some people will do just about anything to avoid making that tough decision. However, it can be a crippling move not to, well, move.

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Indecision Has Some Good Points, Too

But as Healthline points out, indecisiveness isn't always a bad thing. People who make quick decisions might not have thought through everything essential to the situation. Taking time to decide also allows you to gather information and compare the facts.

The inability to make snap decisions might also indicate more at stake than you’re ready to admit. Second-guessing can signal that you aren't yet convinced of the right path.

So, indecision has its pros, and you certainly shouldn’t beat yourself up about taking time to contemplate all the factors involved. The big con, however, is when indecision keeps you stuck for a long time, negatively impacting your mental health and affecting those you love.

Improving Mental Health Starts with You

Because it’s wise not to rush significant decisions, it’s necessary to consider how you can counteract limbo’s negative impacts. Medline Plus has some tips on how to maintain your mental health:

  • Looking on the bright side: There is much to be said for staying positive. However, you shouldn’t mistake that for thinking you should never feel negative emotions; you will and should. But use them to respond to a problem rather than as an excuse to languish. In contrast, hang on to positive emotions—they are the key to a healthier frame of mind.
  • Try gratitude: Finding things to be thankful for is an excellent way to keep a steady flow of positive energy going for yourself. If you can spend a few minutes feeling grateful for things that you appreciate in your life, it can enhance your enjoyment of those things. Recognizing those positive experiences can offer your beleaguered mental state a better perspective.
  • Embrace wellness: From physical exercise, to getting enough rest, to eating nutrient-dense foods, taking care of your physical health will positively impact your mental health.
  • Be social: Strong, healthy relationships can protect you against stressful feelings and the damage they can cause to your mental health. Try different types of connections, too. For example, beyond your relationships with family and friends, community involvement can lift your spirits.
  • Developing yourself and your coping skills: Sometimes learning new things or doubling down on a skill you’ve already acquired can provide a focus that leads to positive mental health. Spirituality exploration can help some people, too. Volunteering is another way to develop yourself. And working on how you deal with bad situations can help you move forward positively, especially in adverse conditions.
  • Find ways to relax: Some folks like to practice calming and focusing their minds through meditation. Other people like to relax by progressively letting go of physical tension in consecutive muscle groups. Others take a series of deep breaths. Whatever helps you relax physically and mentally, do it regularly and unapologetically. This self-care is essential to mental health.

Final Thoughts

Indecision and being in limbo aren't great for you, your job, or your relationships. People struggling with it are often afraid of the consequences of their actions in making the wrong decision. Delay is their response to feeling overwhelmed. While taking your time with a significant decision is essential, you should take care not to ruminate unnecessarily or wallow.

As you go through your decision-making process, maintain your mental health with regular self-care, be a part of your community, and focus on gratitude and other positive emotions when you can. These efforts will help you find the path to moving forward toward your best possible outcome—with your mental health intact.

Sources:

Stritof, Sheri. “Making the Decision to End Your Marriage.” www.verywellmind.com. Web. 2 March 2020. Web. 1 July 2022.

<https://www.verywellmind.com/throwing-the-towel-in-marriage-2300478>.

Hagan, Ekua. “What Makes People Indecisive?” psychologytoday.com. 4 March 2021. Web. 1 July 2022.

<https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/still-procrastinating/202103/what-makes-people-indecisive>.

Legg, PhD PsyD, Timothy. “5 Steps to Overcoming Indecision.” www.healthline.com. Web. 1 July 2022. <https://www.healthline.com/health/5-steps-overcoming-indecision>.

“How to Improve Mental Health.” www.medlineplus.gov. Web. 1 July 2022.

<https://medlineplus.gov/how-toimprovementalhealth.html>.

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Contents:

logo
Basic Do it Yourself Divorce
The most affordable way to get it done right.
Learn more
From $299 + state filing fees
logo
Standard We File For You
Human processing experts to help with your state’s incredibly confusing state filing process.
Learn more
From $599 + state filing fees
logo
Attorney Assistance
Affordable, flat rate legal advice from an independent attorney licensed in your state, to make sure you do everything right.
Learn more
From $899 + state filing fees
logo
Traditional Divorce
Complete end-to-end help from an independent attorney, licensed in your state, with negotiated rates.
Learn more
From $2750 + state filing fees

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uncontested divorce

What To Expect at an Uncontested Divorce Hearing

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mediation, complicated divorce

When Is Divorce Mediation Not Recommended?

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mediation, divorce alternative

7 Things To Do To Prepare for Divorce Mediation

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online divorce

Step-by-Step Guide: How To File for Divorce Online

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divorce papers, divorce without a lawyer

How To Respond to Divorce Papers Without an Attorney

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fast divorce, uncontested divorce

How Long Does an Uncontested Divorce Take?

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divorce process, expensive divorce

How Much Does It Cost To Get a Divorce? Complete Breakdown

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divorce process

How Long Does a Divorce Take?

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divorce process, divorce papers

How To Start the Divorce Process: Step-by-Step

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mediation

What Is Mediation in Divorce and When Should I Use It?

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divorce statistics, divorce rate

48 Divorce Statistics in the U.S. Including Divorce Rate, Race, & Marriage Length

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divorce process, ted

10 TED Talks That Anyone Considering Divorce Should Watch

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Making the Decision, Infidelity

When to Walk Away After Infidelity: 7 Signs It Might Be Time To Leave

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selling property, selling before divorce

Selling Your House Before a Divorce: A Surprisingly Good Idea

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uncontested divorce

What Is an Uncontested Divorce? Everything You Need To Know

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divorce checklist

Divorce Checklist for 2023

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Dating After Divorce

10 Tips for Dating After Divorce

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divorce process, name change

A Guide to Name Change After a Divorce

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divorce process, remarry

Can I Get Married Right After Getting Divorced?

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divorce trauma

The Psychological Trauma of Divorce

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divorce litigation

When Is Divorce Litigation Necessary?

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marriage abandonment

What You Need To Know About Marital Abandonment

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miserable husband syndrome

Miserable Husband Syndrome Explained & Tips To Cope

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toxic relationship

12 Tips on Leaving a Toxic Relationship

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leave a marriage

5 Tips on How To Leave a Marriage Peacefully

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walkaway wife syndrome

5 Signs of Walkaway Wife Syndrome

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divorce process, divorce in california

6 Steps in the California Divorce Process

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divorce process, divorce in Texas

The 6 Steps of the Divorce Process in Texas

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signs od divorce

22 Experts Give Warning Signs Of Divorce You Need To Pay Attention To

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divorce costs, divorce methods

How Much Does a Divorce Cost in California?

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cheating, emotional affair

Emotional Affairs and Texting

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divorce in california, divorce terms

How Long Does it Take to Get a Divorce in California?

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Divorce Recovery, Life After Divorce

10 Tips on How to Reinvent Yourself After Divorce

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sexless marriage

When to Walk Away From a Sexless Marriage

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divorce reasons, top divorce factors

Causes Of Divorce: 13 Of The Most Common Reasons

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divorce process, divorce in california

All of the California Divorce Papers That You Need to Get a Divorce

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divorce costs, divorce in new york

How Much Does a Divorce Cost in New York?

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low-cost divorce, uncontested divorce

The Cheapest Way to Get Divorced

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collaborative divorce, uncontested divorce, types of divorce

The Different Types of Divorce

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Separation, divorce process, divorce in new york

Legal Separation vs Divorce in New York

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divorce statistics, divorce guide, social media

The Complete Guide to Divorce & Social Media

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Life After Divorce, moving out

Moving Out of State Before, During, or After Divorce

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Children and Divorce, child custody

5 Reasons a Judge Will Change Custody

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Children and Divorce, child custody

What Does Sole Custody Mean?

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Child Support, Children and Divorce, child custody

How Does Child Support Work if the Father Has No Job?

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Child Support, alimony

If the Wife Files for Divorce, Can She Get Alimony?

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child custody, parent rights

Parent Rights: Custodial Parent vs. Non-Custodial Parent

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divorce statistics, divorce rate

10 Professions With The Highest Divorce Rate

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expensive divorce, divorce cost

Why is Divorce So Expensive? 5 Reasons from Laura Wasser

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mediation, divorce budget

Divorce Mediation Cost: Budget Accordingly

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divorce process, divorce rights

My Husband Wants a Divorce, What Are My Rights?

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mediation, divorce decree

Marital Settlement Agreement vs. Divorce Decree: What is The Difference?

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Children and Divorce, divorce in Texas

The Texas Divorce Forms For Spouses Without Children

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Separation, divorce process, family pets

During a Divorce or Separation, What Happens to The Family Pet?

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divorce in Texas, divorce terms

How Long Does It Take To Get A Divorce In Texas?

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mediation, arbitration

Which Is Better? Mediation vs. Arbitration

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divorce in california, no fault divorce

California No Fault Divorce

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divorce in Texas, adultery, laws

Texas Divorce Laws About Adultery

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divorce terms, divorce in new york

How Long Does It Take to Get a Divorce in New York?

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child custody, custodial parent

Custodial Parent: Meaning and Responsibilities

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Separation, divorce process, Divorce

Separation vs Divorce: How To Understand the Process

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child custody, parental kidnapping

What To Do? Parental Kidnapping and No Custody Order