By Divorce.com staff
Updated Nov 16, 2022
Walkaway wife syndrome can take a significant toll on a marriage. Recognizing the signs of a runaway wife can help you turn the situation around before it reaches the point of no return. Here’s how to spot the signs of walkaway wife syndrome and what to do if you suspect your wife may be silently unhappy.
What Is Walkaway Wife Syndrome?
Walkaway wife syndrome isn’t an actual condition or diagnosis. This colloquial phrase refers to a series of behaviors commonly exhibited by unhappy wives who are no longer motivated to maintain a relationship with their spouse. The name comes from the feeling that your wife is ready to walk away at any moment.
Walkaway wife syndrome isn’t necessarily someone’s fault. It usually stems from a lack of effort and a lack of communication on both sides of a relationship that slowly culminates into emotional disconnection. It’s not something that happens overnight, and most people aren’t even aware that it’s beginning to happen.
What Are the Signs of Walkaway Wife Syndrome?
Walkaway wife syndrome can present itself in a variety of ways. At the beginning, the signs may be subtle. This is the best time to reprioritize the health of your marriage and reaffirm the strength of your relationship.
As the situation progresses, it may begin to feel like your wife is a roommate you aren’t particularly close with. The signs below can help you pinpoint whether walkaway wife syndrome is making itself known.
1. Disinterest in Sex
It’s completely normal for the frequency of sex to decline within a marriage, especially as both partners age. Most married couples have sex at least once a week, and almost all married couples have sex at least once a month — but there’s no ideal or proper amount. Lifestyle factors will affect your sex life, too, like illness, injury, traveling for work, or recovery from childbirth.
If you’re both living in the same house and you’re relatively healthy, a long sex drought can indicate that your partner is no longer interested in having sex with you.
2. Lack of Effort From Your Wife
If your wife ordinarily helps out around the house, like doing household laundry or preparing meals, she may slow down or stop altogether. Walkaway wife syndrome may lead her to feel like there’s no point in making an effort. She might feel like she’s being taken for granted or that you expect her to silently meet all of your needs.
At that point, she’ll perceive these favors as a zero reciprocity effort and stop attempting to care for you.
3. Your Wife Seems To Live a Separate Life
Walkaway wives generally don’t act upset because they’ve stopped allowing themselves to feel bothered by their dissatisfaction. Rather than displaying depressive behaviors, like sleeping more or staying at home, a walkaway wife will begin to find a new life. She’s in a rebuilding stage: She’s looking to find happiness, even if it means happiness without her husband.
A walkaway wife may take up new hobbies, prioritize her health and fitness, make new friends, or focus on her betterment. She might even be happier than you’ve seen her in a while.
4. She Seems Unbothered
When people want to fight for their marriage, they may be more emotionally charged. We’ll be more likely to point out issues and react to them when we care, even if they do so in an argumentative way.
In cases of walkaway wife syndrome, your wife will care much less when an issue arises. If you do something that would normally make her upset, she may not react at all.
She may stop complaining or asking you for things and begin to work around you rather than work with you. She’ll put her focus on the things she can control and avoid incorporating you into her decision-making process.
5. She Stops Incorporating You Into Her Plans
Walkaway wives stop suggesting date nights. They don’t ask you to come along for social calls, even if their friends’ significant others will be in attendance. If a new restaurant opens, she may be inclined to go try it by herself rather than asking you to visit with her.
She might start thinking about what an independent future looks like by prioritizing her financial health and taking her career seriously.
How To Address Walkaway Wife Syndrome
Some wives may not even realize they’re experiencing walkaway wife syndrome. It usually happens as a small series of independent adaptations that lead to total detachment. She may not even be thinking about divorce as a possibility. She could simply be thinking about what she needs to do to be happy, and it just so happens to involve more independence.
If you think your wife is experiencing runaway wife syndrome, here’s what you can do to help assess the situation.
Acknowledge Failures in Communication and Bridge Gaps
Ask your wife more questions about how she’s feeling and what would make her happy. If you know you’ve been lackluster in the communication department, own up to it. Make a committed effort to communicate more and listen just as much.
Don’t ask questions with an accusatory tone or treat her independence with suspicion. Ask neutral questions, express an interest in being a part of her life, and suggest ways you can enjoy new experiences together. Even if your wife isn’t experiencing walkaway wife syndrome, these seemingly small gestures can always go a long way.
Ask What You Can Do To Be Supportive
Ask her if there’s anything you do for her, and follow up on what she says. This shows that you’re listening and responsive to the situation.
If she’s devoted to bettering herself, be in her corner. Encourage her to achieve her full potential and feel good about herself. You’ll become a part of an important journey in her life, which will bring you closer together and help you rekindle the flame of your relationship.
Your wife might want to write a novel, go back to college, master a new skill, or compete in a marathon. Ask her what you can do to give her the time and energy she needs to pursue her goals. You may need to help out around the house or be willing to fend for yourself more often.
This doesn’t mean you should completely ignore your own needs. Happy marriages work on balance. If you’re willing to make sure she has the time and energy to work towards her goals, she should also be willing to give you the time and energy to work towards your goals.
Try Couples Counseling
If your relationship is at the point where walkaway wife syndrome is an issue, that’s a sign that a significant communication breakdown has already taken place. You need to work from the ground up to re-establish effective communication with each other, but you may not know how to go about repairing the foundation of your marriage.
Couples counseling can be an excellent place to start. A counselor can help people figure out when and how things went astray. A counselor will give you effective communication strategies and techniques you can use to rebuild your relationship.
Counseling takes some time, and you both need to be willing to put in the effort. Re-establishing a marriage requires teamwork, but it can be extremely worth it.
Give Her Space
Women on the verge of becoming walkaway wives still need their space. They need to be able to take time for themselves. Self-care and room to navigate their own thoughts is very important, especially when you’re attempting to work through a difficult situation together. Be there for her on her terms. Let her take the time and space she needs to process the situation.
Should I Divorce My Walkaway Wife?
Divorce should be your last resort, especially if you still love your wife.
Your wife may still love you. She might just be disillusioned with the current state of your relationship, slowly losing hope over time. That hope can be restored if you’re mutually interested in finding it again.
Most of the time, couples can work through issues like walkaway wife syndrome. As long as you’re both willing to put forth the effort, you can salvage your relationship and remember why you both loved each other in the first place. If you’re interested in giving things another shot, talk to your wife.
Walkaway Wife Syndrome Can End a Relationship, But You Have the Power To Mend It
Walkaway wife syndrome indicates deep-seated problems in your relationship dynamic that have gone unchecked for too long, but it doesn’t have to mean divorce is inevitable. It’s important to adequately address these issues if you want to work towards repairing your relationship with your wife and vowing never to let yourselves drift apart again.