4 Min Read

What Does Sole Custody Mean?

By Divorce.com staff
Updated Dec 26, 2022

You have to make a lot of important decisions during a divorce, but the most important decision you make will likely involve custody of a child.

Divorce affects your children just as much as it affects you. It’s important to make decisions that prioritize their stability and well-being. The type of custody you choose will impact the way they live their lives, and you need to be sure you’re making the right choice.

Here’s what you need to know about sole custody and when it’s appropriate to use sole custody.

What Is Custody

There Are Two Forms of Custody: Legal and Physical

The term child custody is usually used to refer to physical custody, but there are two forms of custody. During your divorce case, you’ll need to make child custody arrangements for both physical and legal custody.

What Is Legal Custody?

Legal custody refers to decision-making rights for your child’s life. This refers to decisions affecting your child’s medical care or mental health care. Educational decisions and extracurricular activities that require parental consent are a legal custody matter. Most parents have joint legal custody of their children.

What Is Physical Custody?

Physical custody refers to where the child lives. The law describes physical custody as where a child stays overnight rather than who spends the most time caring for a child during the day. Many families choose joint physical custody for their children.

Some Parents Do Not Have Both Types of Custody

The parent who has physical custody will always have legal custody because the parent the child stays with needs to be legally empowered to make important decisions for the child’s life.

The parent who does not have physical custody may still have legal custody, which means that the parent with physical custody will need to speak with the other parent before making important decisions.

Some parents have neither legal custody nor physical custody. The parent with physical and legal custody doesn’t need that parent’s consent to make decisions. Parents without custody are sometimes given court-ordered visitation with their children, as long as they aren’t considered a threat to the child’s safety.

There Are Three Ways Custody Can Be Awarded: Sole, Joint, and Primary

There are three main custody arrangements. They can differ between types of custody, like physical or legal custody. Here’s what you should know about how each arrangement works.

What Is Joint Custody?

Joint custody is almost always the preferred outcome in family court. It allows parents nearly equal parenting time with their children. Parents will submit a parenting plan to the court that shows how they’d like to divide their time.

In cases of amicable divorce, there’s usually a little bit of wiggle room where both parents can work together to support each other.

Joint custody is a great choice when both parents have an equal interest in raising their children. Children in joint custody situations are often better adjusted than children who live exclusively with one parent, although there are always exceptions.

What Is Primary Custody?

Primary custody refers to a situation where the child lives with one parent most of the time. This is the classic “weekday and weekend” parent situation, but it doesn’t always need to work out that way.

Primary custody technically means that one parent has the child for notably more than half the time. It could be a 60/40 custody split. Parents have the opportunity to decide how they’d like to divide child custody time within their parenting plan.

What Is Sole Custody?

Sole physical custody means that a child will only sleep at one parent’s house. The other parent may not be entitled to visit the child regularly. If they are, the court may create a visitation schedule, and a court appointment supervisor may need to be present for those visits.

Sole legal custody means that every important decision that impacts a child’s life will be made by one parent.

Some states use the term full custody instead of sole custody, but the terms have the same meaning in practice.

When Should You File for Sole Legal Custody of a Child?

Sole custody is rarely an ideal arrangement, except in extenuating circumstances. It means that the child will be raised without the involvement of one parent, and unless it’s truly in the child’s best interest, it’s unwise to damage parental bonds. There are a few scenarios where sole custody will always be the best option.

Keep in mind that sole custody doesn’t necessarily affect child support. In many cases, parents with sole custody can and do receive child support from the other parent.

In Cases of Domestic Violence

If your spouse has a history of being violent, abusive, or neglectful to the children, it isn’t safe for them to have custody of the child. If you have documentation to support abuse allegations (like police reports, photos, or text messages), you can present the documentation in family court at the time of your divorce.

If the court finds that your spouse is a dangerous person for your children to be around, you’ll likely be granted sole custody.

Depending on the details of the situation, the court may still allow your spouse to visit with your child in a controlled environment. These meetings usually take place under the supervision of a person that the court trusts to make sure the situation stays safe.

When One Parent Is Dealing With Substance Abuse

Problematic alcohol use and substance abuse issues can damage families. Parents can’t properly care for their children while they’re under the influence. It isn’t safe for them to drive with the child or supervise their child in potentially dangerous situations, like swimming or jumping on a trampoline.

People are often volatile when they’re under the influence. They may display behavior in front of their children. They’re also typically unstable. People with substance abuse issues often have trouble managing their finances, making it difficult for them to meet their child’s needs. They may bring unsafe people around your children or take children into unsafe environments.

If your significant other is dealing with substance abuse issues or other mental health issues, it’s a safer idea to file for sole custody. You can always change your custody arrangement later if the child’s other parent turns their situation around.

When One Parent Is Mostly Unreliable

Custody arrangements sometimes call for greater involvement from both parents, but one parent fails to meet their responsibilities. Their communication is poor, they don’t show up when they’re supposed to, or they don’t take proper care of the children when they have them.

If the situation becomes a problem, you can petition the court for sole custody. Obtaining sole custody can help prevent disruptions to your child’s life.

When One Parent Is Moving Far Away

Something like a family emergency or a job transfer can cause one parent to move far away. In cases where parents will be separated from their children by a significant distance, it may be better for one parent to have sole custody.

The logistics (and expenses) of attempting to move a child back and forth between states or countries for regular visits can be stressful and disruptive.

The parent who moved away can still visit with the child as long as the court is aware of the situation and both parents agree to the visits. Arrangements can be made for the child to stay with their faraway parent for a full month over the summer or for a full week during a school holiday, but the other parent will still be considered the child’s full guardian.

When One Parent Is Missing or Incarcerated

In the case of abandonment, one person can file for divorce without the other person present. The court will require that one spouse makes a reasonable attempt to contact or locate the other spouse. If they don’t show up, the spouse who filed for divorce will receive a default judgment.

A default judgment is when someone gets everything they’ve asked for in a divorce because the other party didn’t show up to ask for something else.

If your spouse is missing or incarcerated, they can’t take custody of your child. You can ask for sole custody of your child in your divorce, and you’ll be granted sole custody by default. This custody order is especially useful in the event that the missing parent resurfaces and demands time with their child.

They won’t legally be allowed to walk right back in and take their child. They’ll first need to prove to the court that they deserve some type of custody.

Are You Ready to File the Paperwork?

Divorce is never easy; neither is the realization that you likely won’t be able to be with your child every day after your split is finalized. While divorce isn’t an ideal outcome, services like mediation can make it easier to make decisions regarding custody, parental rights, and other large issues amicably.

Of course, some cases will require litigation, and there are likely independent local attorneys and law firms with experience in family law who can provide legal advice and help you explore your options if the time comes. Regardless, rest assured that every decision made by your family law attorney will be in your child’s best interests.

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Contents:

logo
Basic Do it Yourself Divorce
The most affordable way to get it done right.
Learn more
From $299 + state filing fees
logo
Standard We File For You
Human processing experts to help with your state’s incredibly confusing state filing process.
Learn more
From $599 + state filing fees
logo
Attorney Assistance
Affordable, flat rate legal advice from an independent attorney licensed in your state, to make sure you do everything right.
Learn more
From $899 + state filing fees
logo
Traditional Divorce
Complete end-to-end help from an independent attorney, licensed in your state, with negotiated rates.
Learn more
From $2750 + state filing fees

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divorce process, mediation

8 Things To Ask for in Divorce Mediation

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lawyer, expensive divorce

12 Things To Ask a Divorce Lawyer

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uncontested divorce

What To Expect at an Uncontested Divorce Hearing

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mediation, complicated divorce

When Is Divorce Mediation Not Recommended?

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mediation, divorce alternative

7 Things To Do To Prepare for Divorce Mediation

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online divorce

Step-by-Step Guide: How To File for Divorce Online

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divorce papers, divorce without a lawyer

How To Respond to Divorce Papers Without an Attorney

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fast divorce, uncontested divorce

How Long Does an Uncontested Divorce Take?

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divorce process, expensive divorce

How Much Does It Cost To Get a Divorce? Complete Breakdown

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divorce process

How Long Does a Divorce Take?

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divorce process, divorce papers

How To Start the Divorce Process: Step-by-Step

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mediation

What Is Mediation in Divorce and When Should I Use It?

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divorce statistics, divorce rate

48 Divorce Statistics in the U.S. Including Divorce Rate, Race, & Marriage Length

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divorce process, ted

10 TED Talks That Anyone Considering Divorce Should Watch

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Making the Decision, Infidelity

When to Walk Away After Infidelity: 7 Signs It Might Be Time To Leave

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selling property, selling before divorce

Selling Your House Before a Divorce: A Surprisingly Good Idea

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uncontested divorce

What Is an Uncontested Divorce? Everything You Need To Know

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divorce checklist

Divorce Checklist for 2023

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Dating After Divorce

10 Tips for Dating After Divorce

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divorce process, name change

A Guide to Name Change After a Divorce

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divorce process, remarry

Can I Get Married Right After Getting Divorced?

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divorce trauma

The Psychological Trauma of Divorce

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divorce litigation

When Is Divorce Litigation Necessary?

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marriage abandonment

What You Need To Know About Marital Abandonment

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miserable husband syndrome

Miserable Husband Syndrome Explained & Tips To Cope

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toxic relationship

12 Tips on Leaving a Toxic Relationship

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leave a marriage

5 Tips on How To Leave a Marriage Peacefully

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walkaway wife syndrome

5 Signs of Walkaway Wife Syndrome

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divorce process, divorce in california

6 Steps in the California Divorce Process

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divorce process, divorce in Texas

The 6 Steps of the Divorce Process in Texas

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signs od divorce

22 Experts Give Warning Signs Of Divorce You Need To Pay Attention To

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divorce costs, divorce methods

How Much Does a Divorce Cost in California?

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cheating, emotional affair

Emotional Affairs and Texting

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divorce in california, divorce terms

How Long Does it Take to Get a Divorce in California?

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Divorce Recovery, Life After Divorce

10 Tips on How to Reinvent Yourself After Divorce

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sexless marriage

When to Walk Away From a Sexless Marriage

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divorce reasons, top divorce factors

Causes Of Divorce: 13 Of The Most Common Reasons

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divorce process, divorce in california

All of the California Divorce Papers That You Need to Get a Divorce

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divorce costs, divorce in new york

How Much Does a Divorce Cost in New York?

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low-cost divorce, uncontested divorce

The Cheapest Way to Get Divorced

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collaborative divorce, uncontested divorce, types of divorce

The Different Types of Divorce

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Separation, divorce process, divorce in new york

Legal Separation vs Divorce in New York

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divorce statistics, divorce guide, social media

The Complete Guide to Divorce & Social Media

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Life After Divorce, moving out

Moving Out of State Before, During, or After Divorce

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Children and Divorce, child custody

5 Reasons a Judge Will Change Custody

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Children and Divorce, child custody

What Does Sole Custody Mean?

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Child Support, Children and Divorce, child custody

How Does Child Support Work if the Father Has No Job?

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Child Support, alimony

If the Wife Files for Divorce, Can She Get Alimony?

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child custody, parent rights

Parent Rights: Custodial Parent vs. Non-Custodial Parent

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divorce statistics, divorce rate

10 Professions With The Highest Divorce Rate

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expensive divorce, divorce cost

Why is Divorce So Expensive? 5 Reasons from Laura Wasser

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mediation, divorce budget

Divorce Mediation Cost: Budget Accordingly

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divorce process, divorce rights

My Husband Wants a Divorce, What Are My Rights?

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mediation, divorce decree

Marital Settlement Agreement vs. Divorce Decree: What is The Difference?

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Children and Divorce, divorce in Texas

The Texas Divorce Forms For Spouses Without Children

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Separation, divorce process, family pets

During a Divorce or Separation, What Happens to The Family Pet?

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divorce in Texas, divorce terms

How Long Does It Take To Get A Divorce In Texas?

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mediation, arbitration

Which Is Better? Mediation vs. Arbitration

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divorce in california, no fault divorce

California No Fault Divorce

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divorce in Texas, adultery, laws

Texas Divorce Laws About Adultery

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divorce terms, divorce in new york

How Long Does It Take to Get a Divorce in New York?

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child custody, custodial parent

Custodial Parent: Meaning and Responsibilities

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Separation, divorce process, Divorce

Separation vs Divorce: How To Understand the Process

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child custody, parental kidnapping

What To Do? Parental Kidnapping and No Custody Order