Written By:
Divorce.com Staff
Meeting with a divorce attorney for the first time can feel intimidating. Divorce is not only emotionally charged but also full of legal and financial considerations.
The initial consultation is your chance to share the essentials of your situation, ask key questions, and decide if the attorney is a good fit for you.
While many people assume they need to hire a lawyer right away, Divorce.com offers alternative options, including guided support and mediation, that may be better suited for couples seeking a more cooperative process.
Set Emotions Aside (For Now)
You may feel the urge to vent frustrations or share every detail of your relationship. While those emotions are valid, the consultation is not therapy — it’s about facts.
Attorneys need clear, concise information to evaluate your case. Save emotional conversations for trusted friends, family, or a counselor.
When speaking with your attorney, keep your mindset in “business mode.” This ensures your limited consultation time is spent on strategy, not storytelling.
Summarize Your Situation Clearly
Because consultations are often short (sometimes under 30 minutes), it helps to prepare a simple overview of your situation. Include:
How long you’ve been married.
Whether you have children and what custody arrangement you’d like.
Any major assets or debts you share.
Whether you’re seeking spousal support.
Your spouse’s willingness (or unwillingness) to negotiate outside of court.
A quick, organized summary shows your attorney you’re serious and helps them immediately focus on the most relevant issues.
Bring Up Special Circumstances
If your situation involves domestic violence, substance abuse, abandonment, or other sensitive issues, it may affect what kind of support you seek or how you structure your next steps..
They can influence the strategies available to you, and your attorney may suggest protective measures.
Ask the Right Questions
The consultation is not just about the lawyer learning about you — it’s also about you learning about them. Before the meeting, make a list of questions, such as:
What is your fee structure?
Have you handled cases similar to mine?
How will we communicate during the process?
What should my next steps be before filing?
Should I continue communicating with my spouse directly?
How will you protect my information?
This is also the moment to consider whether hiring an attorney and taking on the additional costs will really lead to the outcome you want.
With Divorce.com, you can choose a fully guided digital process that covers all your paperwork and includes up to four mediation sessions. That means you get help working through tough conversations and the assurance that your court forms are handled correctly.
If you and your spouse are on amicable terms and willing to discuss the details directly, Divorce.com could be a strong fit.
Be Ready With Documents
If possible, gather basic financial records (bank statements, mortgage info, retirement accounts, debts, etc.) before your consultation.
Even if you don’t bring everything with you, having these documents organized will make it easier to discuss potential outcomes.
Consider Meeting Multiple Attorneys
Don’t feel pressured to hire the first attorney you meet. It’s perfectly normal to schedule more than one consultation.
You’ll want to feel confident not just in your attorney’s skills, but also in your ability to communicate with them.
The Bottomline
Your first meeting with a divorce attorney is an important step in shaping your future. By focusing on the facts, preparing a concise summary, and asking thoughtful questions, you’ll set the tone for a smoother process ahead.
Take your time, compare options, and choose someone you feel comfortable with because the right attorney can make a stressful process more manageable.
Consultation with a Divorce Lawyer FAQs
How long is an initial divorce attorney consultation?
Most consultations last 30 minutes to an hour. Some are free, while others are billed at the attorney’s hourly rate.
Do I need to bring financial documents to my first meeting?
You don’t need everything, but having recent bank statements, tax returns, or mortgage information can make the discussion more productive.
What should I avoid saying during the consultation?
Avoid turning the meeting into a venting session. Focus on facts and goals — emotional support is best left for friends, family, or a counselor.
Can I meet more than one divorce attorney?
Yes. It’s common to consult with multiple attorneys before deciding who you feel most comfortable working with.
Do I have to hire the attorney after the consultation?
No. The consultation is simply an opportunity to evaluate whether the attorney is a good fit. You’re under no obligation to commit.
