How to File for Divorce Without a Lawyer in Norfolk, VA

You're sitting near Harbor Park at midnight, scrolling through your phone while a Navy ship passes in the distance. You're googling "file for divorce myself Virginia." Here's the reality: Norfolk has the CHEAPEST divorce filing fee in America—$86 (most states charge $250-$450) and NO mandatory waiting period. If you and your spouse agree on everything, you can handle this yourself for under $200.

Total cost: $98-$186. Time: 4-6 weeks if uncontested.

This is literally one of the fastest, cheapest divorce processes in the entire United States. Military families stationed in Norfolk do this all the time.

Can You DIY?

About 35% of people who start DIY in Norfolk finish without hiring a lawyer. That's good odds—Virginia's low costs and straightforward process help.

DIY works when:

• You've lived in Virginia at least 6 months

• You and your spouse agree on everything (property, custody, support)

• Both willing to cooperate

• Relatively straightforward assets

• No complex military benefits disputes (though simple military divorces can DIY)

• You're comfortable with detailed paperwork

DIY doesn't work when:

• Your spouse won't cooperate or disagrees on major issues

• Can't agree on dividing property or custody

• Complex military pension division disputes (20+ years service, multiple deployments)

• Business ownership or professional practice

• Domestic violence (you need legal protection and possibly SCRA protections)

• Spouse is hiding money or assets

• Major disputes about military benefits (BAH, TSP, disability)

The reality in Norfolk: this is a military city. About 40-50% of divorces involve at least one active duty servicemember. Most military divorces are straightforward—if you agree on terms, you can DIY even with a military pension involved. But if you're fighting over 20 years of Navy retirement or complex benefits, you need a lawyer who knows military divorce law.

Norfolk's median home price is $240,000 (very affordable), most assets are straightforward, and the $86 filing fee means DIY saves you $1,400-$16,000 per person compared to hiring lawyers.

What It Costs

Norfolk Circuit Court filing fee: $86

This is the CHEAPEST divorce filing fee in America. Seriously. Most states charge:

• California: $435

• Florida: $400+

• New York: $335

• Texas: $300+

• Ohio: $175-$350

Norfolk's $86 is incredibly affordable. One spouse pays this when filing the Complaint for Divorce.

Pay at Norfolk Circuit Court (150 St. Paul's Boulevard, downtown Norfolk near Nauticus). They take cash, checks, money orders, credit/debit cards.

Can't afford $86? File Petition for Proceeding in Civil Case Without Payment of Fees or Costs (Virginia Form CC-1414). If approved, court waives the fee. But at $86, most people can afford it—that's less than a tank of gas.

Getting your spouse served: $12-$100

Virginia requires official service. You cannot serve your spouse yourself.

Your options:

• Norfolk Sheriff: $12 (CHEAPEST option, most common, takes 1-2 weeks)

• Private process server: $50-$100 (faster if needed, more flexible)

• Certified mail: $8 (only works if spouse cooperates and signs receipt)

Most military families use Norfolk Sheriff service for $12. It's ridiculously affordable and reliable.

Total DIY cost: $98-$186

That's $98 if you use sheriff service, $186 if you use private process server. Either way, this is the cheapest divorce in America.

Compare to:

• Divorce.com: $585-$2,085 ($499-$1,999 service + $86 filing)

• Uncontested lawyer: $1,500-$3,500

• Contested lawyer: $6,000-$16,000+ per person

Even spending 25 hours on DIY, you're saving yourself $1,400-$15,900 per person.

The No Waiting Period

Virginia has NO mandatory waiting period for uncontested divorces. Once you file, if you both agree and have proper documentation, you can finalize in 4-6 weeks.

This is FAST. Compare to other states:

• California: 6-month mandatory wait

• Kansas: 60-day mandatory wait

• Wisconsin: 120-day mandatory wait

• Nebraska: 60-day mandatory wait

Virginia? Zero days. File Monday, agree on terms, finalize by mid-March.

Important note: Virginia DOES have separation requirements for grounds:

• 6 months separation if no kids and signed separation agreement

• 1 year separation if kids OR no agreement

But once you meet the separation requirement and file, there's NO additional waiting period. Most Norfolk military couples use the 6-month separation with agreement.

Timeline for simple uncontested DIY:

• 6 months: Living separate and apart (Virginia requirement)

• 1-2 weeks: Gather documents, prepare forms

• 1 week: File paperwork at Norfolk Circuit Court

• 1 week: Serve spouse via sheriff

• 0 days: NO mandatory waiting period after filing!

• 21 days: Spouse has time to respond (usually waives this)

• 1-2 weeks: Final hearing scheduling

• 1 day: Brief final hearing

• 1 week: Receive signed Final Decree

Total: About 7-8 months from separation to finalized divorce (6 months separation + 4-6 weeks processing).

That's efficient. Many Norfolk couples separate when one deploys, so by the time they're back, they meet the 6-month requirement.

DIY vs. Divorce.com vs. Lawyer

DIY ($98-$186):

• You do all work yourself

• Download free forms from Virginia Courts website

• Fill everything out accurately

• File and manage entire process

• Best if: Comfortable with paperwork, simple situation, agree on everything

Divorce.com ($585-$2,085):

• Online interview generates your forms

• They prepare all Norfolk paperwork

• You still file and serve yourself

• You still pay the $86 filing fee separately

• Best if: Need help with forms but agree on everything

Uncontested lawyer ($1,500-$3,500):

• Lawyer does everything

• You just show up when needed

• Best if: Can afford it, want professional handling

Contested lawyer ($6,000-$16,000+):

• Lawyer negotiates for you

• Best if: Spouse disagrees on major issues, complex military benefits

Start with DIY. If you get stuck or overwhelmed, you can upgrade. The work you've done isn't wasted—lawyers charge less to finish what you started.

Step-by-Step: How to DIY Your Virginia Divorce

Step 1: Confirm You've Been Separated 6 Months (or 1 Year)

Virginia requires separation before filing:

• 6 months separation: If you have NO minor children AND you have a signed Property Settlement Agreement

• 1 year separation: If you have minor children OR no signed agreement

"Separated" means living in separate residences. Virginia allows separation while living in the same house if you can prove you lived "separate lives" (separate bedrooms, no intimacy, separate finances, etc.) but this is MUCH harder to prove.

Most military couples separate when one deploys or gets stationed elsewhere. Count from the date you physically separated.

Step 2: Confirm Virginia Jurisdiction

You or your spouse must have lived in Virginia for at least 6 months before filing.

Military exception: If you're active duty military stationed in Virginia, you can file here even if Virginia isn't your legal residence. If your spouse is active duty stationed here, same thing. Virginia is very military-friendly.

Step 3: Gather Your Documents

Before filling out any forms, collect everything:

Personal information:

• Marriage certificate (original or certified copy)

• Social Security numbers (both spouses)

• Current addresses (both spouses)

• Military ID cards (if applicable)

• LES (Leave and Earnings Statement) for military member

Financial documents:

• Last 3 years tax returns

• Recent pay stubs (both spouses, last 3 months)

• Bank statements (all accounts, last 3 months)

• Investment/retirement account statements

• Military TSP (Thrift Savings Plan) statements

• Credit card statements (all cards)

• Mortgage statements

• Car loan documents

• Any other debt documentation

Military-specific documents (if applicable):

• Military pension estimate (from DFAS or myPay)

• BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) documentation

• Military orders (if deployment or PCS affected separation)

• TRICARE information

• SGLI (life insurance) information

Property information:

• Deed to house

• Recent property value (Zillow or appraisal)

• Vehicle titles (all cars)

• List of furniture and personal property

If you have kids:

• Birth certificates

• School records

• Medical records

• Childcare costs

• Health insurance information

Virginia requires financial disclosure. You need documentation, not just estimates.

This takes most people 8-15 hours to gather completely. Do it right. Missing documents cause delays.

Step 4: Download Virginia Forms

Get forms from Virginia Courts website (vacourts.gov) under "Forms" → "District & Circuit Court Forms" → "Divorce."

For uncontested divorce (you agree), you need:

• Complaint for Divorce (Form CC-1411)

• Property Settlement Agreement (create your own or use template)

• VS-4 (Virginia Certificate of Divorce - registrar uses this for vital statistics)

• Final Decree of Divorce (judge signs this)

• Affidavit of Military Service (if spouse is military)

If you have children:

• Parenting Plan (create detailed schedule)

• Child Support Guidelines Worksheet (Form DC-637)

• Affidavit Pursuant to Va. Code § 20-60.3

For military divorce specifically:

• SCRA Affidavit (Servicemembers Civil Relief Act - proves military status)

• Military Pension Division Order (if dividing military retirement)

Virginia provides instructions with forms. Read them carefully—they're helpful.

Step 5: Fill Out the Complaint for Divorce

The Complaint (Form CC-1411) is your main document. It tells the court:

• Who you are (names, addresses, dates of birth)

• When and where you married

• That you or your spouse has lived in Virginia 6+ months

• Your grounds for divorce (usually "lived separate and apart for 6 months/1 year")

• Whether you have minor children

• What you're asking for (divorce, property division, spousal support, custody)

Grounds for divorce: Check the box for "We have lived separate and apart without cohabitation for at least six months (or one year if we have minor children)."

Be accurate. This is a sworn document.

Military-specific: If your spouse is active duty military, you MUST file an Affidavit of Military Service. This protects their SCRA rights. You can check military status at scra.dmdc.osd.mil.

Step 6: Create Your Property Settlement Agreement

This is THE most important document. It's your contract with your spouse spelling out:

• How you're dividing the house

• Who gets which vehicles

• How you're dividing retirement accounts (401k, IRA, TSP, military pension)

• Who pays which debts

• Spousal support (if any)

• Child custody and parenting time (if applicable)

• Child support amount (if applicable)

Be extremely specific. Virginia courts want detail.

Don't write: "We'll split the house fairly."

Write: "Wife shall have sole ownership of the marital residence located at [address], Norfolk, Virginia 23502, valued at $265,000 with remaining mortgage of $145,000 (equity $120,000). Husband shall receive an equalization payment of $60,000 (50% of equity) from refinance proceeds within 120 days of Final Decree."

Virginia's equitable distribution: Virginia divides marital property "equitably" (fairly), not necessarily 50/50. Property acquired during marriage is marital property. Property owned before marriage or received as inheritance/gift is separate property.

Military pension division: If you're dividing military retirement, you need:

• 10 years of marriage overlapping 10 years of military service for direct DFAS payment to former spouse

• Court Order Acceptable for Processing (COAP) - this is the military version of QDRO

• Clear language about whether it's based on disposable retired pay

• Whether former spouse gets COLA increases

• Whether former spouse shares disability offset risk

Many Norfolk DIY couples divide military pension 50/50. If military member has 20+ years service, that pension is valuable ($2,000-$4,000/month). Get the division language right or hire a lawyer just for this part ($800-$1,500).

Spousal support: Virginia doesn't have a formula. Court considers:

• Income and earning capacity of each spouse

• Standard of living during marriage

• Duration of marriage

• Age and health of both spouses

• Financial resources of each spouse

• Contributions to the marriage (including homemaking)

• Property settlement

• Any other factors

In Norfolk, spousal support is common when one spouse stayed home while military member worked. Typical amounts: 25-35% of income gap. Duration: related to marriage length.

Step 7: Create Parenting Plan (If Kids)

Virginia requires a detailed Parenting Plan if you have minor children.

You must specify:

• Physical custody schedule: Exactly when kids are with each parent

• Legal custody: Who makes major decisions (medical, educational, religious)

• Holidays and vacations: Every major holiday, spring break, summer

• Exchanges: Where and when custody exchanges happen

• Communication: How parents communicate about the children

• Relocation: What happens if one parent wants to move

Military-specific custody considerations:

• What happens during deployments (often non-military parent gets full custody during deployment, returns to normal schedule upon return)

• How to handle PCS moves (Permanent Change of Station)

• How to handle extended training (schools, deployments lasting months)

• Whether military member gets extra time when home on leave

Be extremely specific. Virginia courts want detail.

Example: "Father shall have physical custody Monday 6:00 PM through Thursday 6:00 PM. Mother shall have physical custody Thursday 6:00 PM through Monday 6:00 PM. Parents shall alternate major holidays. During Father's deployments exceeding 30 days, Mother shall have full physical custody, reverting to regular schedule upon Father's return to Hampton Roads."

Most people spend 10-20 hours creating a good Parenting Plan. Military custody plans need extra detail for deployment contingencies.

Step 8: Calculate Child Support

Virginia has mandatory child support guidelines. Use Virginia's Child Support Calculator (available online through Virginia Department of Social Services).

You enter:

• Both parents' monthly gross income

• Number of children

• Health insurance costs

• Daycare costs

• Number of days each parent has custody per year

The calculator determines monthly support. The parent with less custody time typically pays the parent with more time.

Military income considerations:

• Include BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) in gross income

• Include BAS (Basic Allowance for Subsistence)

• Include any special pay or bonuses

• Do NOT include combat zone tax exclusion

In Norfolk, where many military members earn $50k-$80k with BAH/BAS, support amounts are moderate. Someone earning $65,000 with one child pays about $750-$900/month.

Step 9: File Your Paperwork

Take your completed forms to Norfolk Circuit Court (150 St. Paul's Boulevard, downtown Norfolk, Courtroom 11 - Clerk's Office).

Bring:

• Original Complaint and all supporting documents (plus 2 copies—one for court, one for you, one for spouse)

• $86 filing fee (cash, check, money order, or card)

• Photo ID

• Military ID (if applicable)

The clerk will:

• Review for completeness (not accuracy—just checking all blanks are filled)

• Take your $86 fee

• File-stamp your copies

• Give you a case number

• Return copies to you

Keep your file-stamped copies. You'll need them.

Step 10: Serve Your Spouse

You cannot serve divorce papers yourself. Virginia requires service by:

• Norfolk Sheriff ($12—most common)

• Private process server ($50-$100)

• Certified mail with return receipt (if spouse agrees: $8)

Most military families use Norfolk Sheriff service. It's $12 and reliable.

If spouse is deployed: You can serve them at their deployed location through their command. Sheriff can coordinate this. OR you can serve via mail if spouse agrees to sign acknowledgment.

SCRA protections: If your spouse is active duty military, they have protections under Servicemembers Civil Relief Act. They can request a stay (delay) of proceedings if deployment or military duty prevents them from appearing. This is why the Affidavit of Military Service is required.

The person who serves must complete a Return of Service proving they served your spouse. This gets filed with the court.

Step 11: Wait for Response (21 Days)

Your spouse has 21 days after being served to file an Answer.

If you both agree (uncontested): Spouse files nothing OR files Answer agreeing to everything. Most Norfolk DIY couples have spouse sign an Acceptance of Service and waive the 21 days.

If spouse disagrees: They file Answer disputing issues. Then you negotiate. If you can't agree, DIY is over—you need lawyers.

Most Norfolk military divorces: spouse agrees or doesn't respond because you already worked everything out in your Property Settlement Agreement.

Step 12: Attend Final Hearing

Virginia requires a brief final hearing even for uncontested divorces. This is usually 10-20 minutes.

Call Norfolk Circuit Court Clerk's Office (757-664-4380) to schedule your final hearing. They'll give you a date (usually 2-4 weeks out).

At the hearing:

• Dress business casual (no uniforms unless you're coming straight from work)

• Bring photo ID

• Bring your file-stamped paperwork

• Only the filing spouse usually needs to attend (unless both required)

The judge will ask:

• Are the facts in your Complaint true?

• Have you been separated the required time?

• Is the Property Settlement Agreement fair?

• Is anyone forcing you to divorce?

• (If military) Does your spouse waive SCRA protections or are they properly noticed?

Answer honestly. The hearing is quick.

Step 13: Receive Your Final Decree

After the hearing, the judge signs the Final Decree of Divorce.

The court mails certified copies to both spouses, usually within 7-10 days.

You're officially divorced as of the date on the Final Decree.

Save your Final Decree. You'll need it to:

• Change your name (DMV, Social Security)

• Update DEERS (military dependent database)

• Update TRICARE

• Update military ID card status

• Divide military pension (submit COAP to DFAS)

• Divide TSP (Thrift Savings Plan)

• Update beneficiaries (SGLI, TSP, etc.)

• Update car titles and registrations

Military Divorce Specific Issues

Military pension division:

• Needs Court Order Acceptable for Processing (COAP)

• Former spouse can get direct payment from DFAS if married 10 years overlapping 10 years service

• Otherwise, military member pays former spouse directly

• Division can be percentage or dollar amount

• Consider whether former spouse shares COLA increases

Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP):

• Military retiree can provide SBP coverage to former spouse

• Usually costs 6.5% of retired pay

• Provides 55% of retirement to surviving former spouse if retiree dies

• Often required in divorce settlement for long marriages

TRICARE:

• Former spouse can keep TRICARE if married 20 years overlapping 20 years service (20/20/20 rule)

• Or if married 20 years overlapping 15 years service AND living in same location as sponsor for 1 year (20/20/15 rule)

• Otherwise loses TRICARE after divorce

Deployments:

• SCRA protections allow military member to request delay if deployment prevents court appearance

• Parenting plan should address custody during deployment

• Extended deployments may require temporary custody modifications

When to Stop DIY and Hire Help

Stop DIY and hire a lawyer if:

• Your spouse won't cooperate. If they disagree on major issues—you need help.

• Complex military pension. If dividing 20+ years of military retirement with complex disability/COLA issues—pay for expertise ($800-$2,500 for pension division help).

• Spouse deploys and contests. If spouse is deployed and files Answer disputing terms—you need lawyer who understands SCRA.

• Spouse hires lawyer. If they lawyer up, you should too. Don't face a lawyer alone.

• Business ownership. If either spouse owns business—pay for valuation.

• Domestic violence. If there's been violence, you need legal protection.

• You're overwhelmed. If stressed, confused, making mistakes—hire help. Better to spend $1,500 for uncontested lawyer than mess up $60,000 pension division.

The $98-$186 you spent on DIY isn't wasted. Lawyers charge less to finish what you started.

The Bottom Line

DIY divorce in Norfolk costs $98-$186 (cheapest in America!) and takes 4-6 weeks after filing if you agree on everything.

You must be separated 6 months first (or 1 year if kids), but once you file, Virginia has NO additional waiting period. That's fast.

About 35% of Norfolk DIY filers finish without lawyers. Good odds. Norfolk's military community does this all the time—sailors and their spouses handle straightforward divorces themselves.

But Norfolk's military divorces can get complex. If you're dividing a 20-year Navy pension worth $3,000/month, if deployment custody is disputed, if SCRA complications arise—consider at least paying a lawyer to review ($600-$1,200 for 2-3 hours).

You can do this. Virginia's forms are straightforward. Norfolk's $86 filing fee is unbeatable. The military community here understands—you're not the first sailor going through this.

Be thorough. Be honest. Get help on complicated parts (especially military pension division). You'll save thousands while protecting yourself legally.

You'll get through this. Norfolk is a city of new beginnings—ships come and go, sailors deploy and return, and life moves forward. So will you.