So you and your spouse are unsatisfied in your marriage and have decided to call it quits. We know that filing for divorce can seem pretty complicated, so we’re here to help.

Keep reading for your step-by-step guide to the California divorce process.

Step 1: Make sure that you meet California’s divorce residency requirement.

Before you dive into the divorce process itself, you’ll need to make sure that you’re eligible for a

California divorce

in the first place.

This means that you’ll have to meet the state residency requirement. California law provides that to qualify for a California divorce, at least one person in the marriage must have been a state resident for a minimum of six months before filing a divorce.

In addition, one spouse has to have lived in the court filing county for a minimum of three months.

The same residency rules apply if you wish to dissolve a domestic partnership. In fact, most divorce laws are applicable when cutting ties with a domestic partner, you’ll just need slightly different paperwork.

So, please remember that whenever we mention divorce or refer to your spouse, the same information applies to you and your domestic partner.

Once you and your spouse have established residency, you will be ready to start the paperwork.

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Step 2: Filing the Petition

The next step in the divorce process is filing the divorce petition (also known as a petition for dissolution) with your county’s court clerk. This first set of divorce paperwork initiates your divorce proceeding.

This packet mostly serves to identify the parties and give some basic information about them. This includes a financial disclosure form in which you will be required to identify all of your assets, regardless of whether they are shared with your spouse. Your spouse will have to do the same when it comes time for them to file a response.

It’s essential that you are completely forthcoming with your financial disclosures, even if you think you’re engaged in

an uncontested dissolution

(meaning you have a prior agreement and thus do not believe that you and your spouse will be fighting over said assets).

Suppose it is discovered later that one spouse hid assets from the other. In that case, it is within the court's discretion to financially penalize the bad actor by awarding the innocent spouse the better end of the bargain.

Under California divorce law, the spouse who files the petition becomes known as the petitioner, and the other spouse is referred to as the respondent. Sometimes the petitioner is also referred to as simply the filing spouse.

These terms will be used to identify you and your spouse throughout subsequent divorce documents.

Generally, it does not matter who is the petitioner and who is the respondent because, in California, no-fault divorce is your only option. Instead, your California divorce papers will reflect that you have decided to end your marriage due to “irreconcilable differences.”

A key exception to this generalization is when you are a survivor of domestic violence at the hands of your spouse. If that is your situation, you will definitely want to file the petition yourself because initiating the divorce proceedings will allow you to obtain a restraining order if the court deems it necessary.

Whoever files the petition will also be responsible for paying a filing fee of $435 at this time. If you cannot afford the fee, you can instead request a fee waiver from the court.

The date the petition is filed will often serve as your legal separation date. In this situation, legal separation just means the moment at which irreconcilable differences occurred. After your legal separation date, you and your spouse will no longer accrue community property.

Step 3: Serving Your Spouse

Once you have filed the petition, you will need to serve your spouse. This just means giving your spouse formal notice that a divorce case has begun and providing them with a copy of all the divorce papers you have completed.

Since this is a formal notice, there are some restrictions regarding who is allowed to serve the respondent. In California, you can hire a professional process server or request the help of anyone over 18 who is not a party to the case.

If you and your spouse are on good terms, you also have the option of serving them by mail, in which case they will need to sign and return a document acknowledging that they have been served.

Step 4: Waiting for a Response

Once you have served your spouse, they will have 30 days to complete a parallel set of divorce papers called the response. They, too, will need to file their forms with the court clerk.

If your spouse fails to file the response within this timeframe, the court has the ability to issue a default judgment against them. This means they cannot voice their preferences regarding family law matters like child custody, child and spousal support, and how community property should be distributed.

Step 5: Reaching a Deal

Assuming that the respondent has avoided default judgment, you will now be involved in resolving the issues of child custody, child and spousal support, and how community property should be distributed.

You probably already know that you can do this with a divorce attorney,

through divorce mediation

,

all

on your own

,

or aided by an online divorce platform.

However, there is one more negotiation option you may not have heard of: collaborative divorce.

In a collaborative divorce

,

you and your spouse each hire an attorney and mental health professional to serve as your personal advocates and your divorce coaches, respectively.

In addition, the two of you will share the services of various other professionals, often including a child advocate, a financial advisor, or even a real estate agent. Your team will be built according to the unique needs of your family.

Because it requires such a vast array of professionals, collaborative divorce tends to be much more expensive than mediation, DIY, or online divorce. It is, however, often less expensive than litigation because the process is designed to promote cooperation and lead to a timely resolution.

No matter what general method you choose, your divorce process's nature (and expense) will depend greatly on you and your spouse’s ability to negotiate amicably.

If you can reach an agreement without intervention from the court, you are said to have undergone an uncontested divorce. If you end up in court, you will have a contested divorce.

Unsurprisingly, an uncontested divorce is

generally much faster and

less expensive than

a contested divorce

.

One reason for this is that if your divorce is uncontested, you may be eligible for what’s called a

summary dissolution.

As the name implies, this is a sort of abbreviated divorce process. Besides reaching a marital settlement agreement without court intervention, you must also be married for less than five years, have no children together, have limited shared debts and assets, and both agree to waive

spousal support

to be eligible for

summary dissolution

.

If you choose this option, you and your spouse will file a joint petition together rather than filing a traditional petition followed by a response.

Generally speaking,

neither party hires a divorce lawyer

for an uncontested divorce. Sometimes divorcing couples will pay for just an hour or two with an attorney to obtain some basic legal advice but then do the bulk of the work on their own or through an online platform.

For a contested divorce, on the other hand, an experienced divorce attorney will advocate for you and help to get you the best deal possible. As a result, you’ll spend a lot of time in their law office over the coming months and learn the importance of a productive attorney-client relationship firsthand.

You should be advised, however, that once you get inside the courtroom, what your attorney can do is quite limited by California family law. If you wish to retain a greater degree of self-determination, your goal should always be to settle before you get to trial.

If you do end up in court, the judge will generally apply a standardized formula for determining spousal and child support and then issue a spousal or child support order. You and your spouse will each keep 100% of your separate property, and your community property will be split up 50/50, even if that means that indivisible shared assets need to be sold off.

While child custody inevitably requires a more holistic review, a California court will always order shared custody unless one parent is clearly unfit. That’s because maintaining a comprehensive relationship with both parents is presumed to be in the child's best interest.

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Step 6: Obtaining a Final Judgment

Now that you and your spouse have divided up your lives (by either negotiation or an order from a judge), you are ready to finalize your divorce.

A judge will ensure that all previous divorce forms have been properly filed. If your divorce settlement were negotiated amongst yourselves, she would also review your plan to ensure it does not appear coercive.

If everything is in order, you will receive a final divorce judgment (alternatively known as a divorce decree).

Congratulations! You made it through this intimidating process in one piece.

Findlaw | California Code, Family Code - FAM § 2320

California Courts.ca.gov | Gather and share financial information

Findlaw | California Code, Family Code - FAM § 2311

California Courts | File your divorce Petition and Summons

Justia | 2007 California Code of Civil Procedure Article 3. Manner Of Service Of Summons

California Courts | Respond to divorce papers

California Courts | The summary dissolution process

Findlaw | California Code, Family Code - FAM § 770

Findlaw | California Code, Family Code - FAM § 2550

California Courts | Judgment (FL-180)